/This is Question 1 out of 5 in response to “Challenge of the week: 5 questions to ask yourself when your Ex wants to have a kid with you”/
“The Mother of All Questions”
Robert, it is extremely important to spend some time on this question as the answer to it may solve your entire challenge:
Do you want to become a father again and do you have the love to share?
Because if you don’t, there is absolutely no point and reason to even consider this proposal. If you consciously decide to have a baby, you should be damn sure you really want it.
From your challenge description, we couldn’t really guess what are your feelings towards the fatherhood. Do you actually want to have another child? If yes, are you ready for it now? And how important the mother and your relationship with her is?
How should I know?
Well, there is no golden formula for figuring out if you want to be a father or not… you just feel it. If in your heart, you know that you have more love to share and spending time and taking care of children brings you (mostly) joy and fulfilment then you are most probably natural – born parent.
If however, you feel uncertain, doubtful or even slightly repulsed by the idea it’s a sign that the fatherhood may not be for you – at least not at this point in your life.
And am I really ready?
Even if you know that you would love to have more children, the timing is very important as well. You need to make sure that this is a right time in your life to have more kids and you can handle it.
Ok, now you may think, “come on girls, I have a kid already, I know the drill” but you need to realise that having two children is not the same as having one. It is double love and joy, but also double effort, double time, and double money. Or sometimes even triple, if your second kid turns out way more demanding than the first one.
In simple words, are you up for it right now? Are you financially ready to have another child? Do you have enough space in your house for two kids? Do you have enough energy and time to handle two children? How will you make it work on a daily basis? How about your job? Can you have a more flexible schedule in case you need it? Can you count on some help/support from your family or friends in case you need it (it is especially important for single parents and co-parents as most of your parenting you do by yourself)?
Try to answer all of these questions and if you are absolutely certain that you want to have another child now, you can go directly to the Question 3.
If however you are still in doubt and you are not quite sure if you want it or not, prepare a new piece of paper – we have another important question for you – Question Number 2