Challenge 11: Is it worth integrating into a foreign country that you are not really in love with?

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Me and my girlfriend are together for 4 years now. We met in a “neutral country” as we were both studying here as international students. After getting our diplomas we both found jobs here and decided to stay.

Everything is ok so far. We are having a good life and we are happy with our lives but lately we started to think about our future. We have realised that due to couple of important factors (good jobs, good social conditions, convenience) we will most probably stay here for couple of more years. We also consider to have our first child here as the country we live in provides really good conditions for working parents.

So what is the problem?

We are not really integrated. After all these years we still live in a “pink international bubble”. Our friends are all foreigners. We don’t speak the language, which is quite difficult to learn (but if there is a will there is a way). We are not much interested in social life, politics or cultural affairs.

It worked well so far, but now when we think about staying hem re longer and starting a family, we are not sure if we can maintain the status quo and live the international life. We started considering to integrate better but we don’t even know where to start. The country’s culture is rather closed and natives stick together (they are quite relaxed though). We asked for advice from the natives and all of them jokingly answered “You should find yourself a partner from here, that’s the best way to integrate”. Well, that is obviously not an option.

Is it worth integrating at all? Perhaps better invest time in learning each other culture and language instead?

You both live in a foreign country, do you have any tips/options on what to do?


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2 thoughts on “Challenge 11: Is it worth integrating into a foreign country that you are not really in love with?

  1. Not speaking from personal experience here but, having a child does change your relationship to your community. Mother-to-be groups are common in Scandinavia and those relationships often last for several years.
    If you’re content, go with it until you aren’t and then decide what to do.

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